The Judge

Got a problem stranger? The judge’ll take care of you,sure as good. The judge took care a loosey, and you know what trouble done happened a loosey. Remby done scunned the judges bunn too. The judge got a waya fixin proloblems.

Some say he gottta, problem fissin machine, or dat he is won, but he doan needa fissin machine a wuteva, H’es The Judge.

Judge helped out cun finnigin with his hole diggin’ problem. But if you wanna hassel, gid the judge a problem, no, the judge’ll give you a problem. stranger. Yeah thas write the judge gid’s problems too.Here ya go he say.

Won time a baby fall oudda the window, the judge don’t do nuthin. The baby waas in cleveland, da judge live in arKansas, what you want the judge to doo? He dont fly, the judge doan know how to fly, he da judge, not a bird or any aeroplann. Who just do yew think tha judge is who aneehow? the judge fiss problem, if you fissin for a hassel, the judge’ll give you a problem. Stranger.

The judge doan reeda lotta fiction. The judge is a karmic wheel in the way of problems, as problems flow into the judge as he takes from you, and, later, as you fix for a hastle, problems flow out of the judge, into you. Stranger. Add more people to the equation and it begins to make sense. Add into this the fact that the judge don’t read a lot of fiction, and you can conclude that this judge is a no nonsense kind of guy, I bet he don’t screw around all the time like benny and the guys, and hey, maybe he’s a real bad motherfucker, guess I best not fix fora hastlin’, or a hastle. Then again though, if I got a problem, I bet this judge guy could get some shit done, I better go to him. Boy I’ll tell you what though, when those trolls took me through the hole in the bottom of the bridge that leads to their secret villiage, that was some shit I’d never seen before.

Aww quit buggin’ me rose bud, I’ll take you to the movies when square mumby returns home and gives me that nickle he owes me for rubbin’ the dragon’s belly last harvest. Son of amilklynch.

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